How Progesterone Destroyed My Life and Caused an Ancient Transgender Priestess to Infiltrate My Body

please help for the love of god someone please help me

Like most trans femmes my HRT regimen was going as planned: the tiny sore boobs, the diminished libido, and for once finally being able to talk to the wildlife.

But then I tried something new:

I started boofing my progesterone

The moment that first gel capsule finally dissolved in my ass I could feel a rush of the ten-fold bioavailability I read about on Reddit hit my bloodstream.

That next morning, as I was putting on my girlboss fit to go work for the soulless corporation that promised to pay for my new tits, I realized I was, like, way hotter than normal. Fat redistribution had accelerated to a terrifying pace. Not only did I have a stronger waistline and hips, but I finally had those C cups I had been pining over for years.

Thanks to boofing my progesterone I quit my job that very morning. I began fully devoting myself to commenting on posts on r/AskTransgender letting people know the good news about rectal progesterone ingestion.

Still learning how to make memes, but I think this one is pretty good. I posted it on Reddit

Just 3 days after I began boofing my vision suddenly blurred when the next big rush of bioavailability hit. "This thing should come with a fucking warning label," I screamed as I careened my car into oncoming traffic. Luckily my car insurance came with a dumb bitch clause, because it turned out my vision wasn't blurred, just that my astigmatism was now cured. I threw my glasses onto the 4 car pileup and walked away unscathed, realizing that my rheumatism was cured now too.

If this was all that had happened to me from shoving pills up my butt I would wholeheartedly recommend that you do it too. However, what began next changed my life in ways I can never undo.

The bioavailability just kept kicking in. If only I had known to stop it, but the blood levels now had made me into a complete dumb bitch, just like how I had always dreamed. There was no hope for me. Once I was fully passing my friends soon started commenting on my voice changes. I was just using my natural voice I thought. But it turned out that the progesterone was crawling out of my ass and getting on my laptop at night and finally doing those voice training lessons for me. “Heat from fire, fire from heat,” I said. Was this too good to be true? I should have questioned it.

My vision actually continued to improve beyond the cured astigmatism. By the end of the week I could see through the fog blanketing my neighborhood. And by the end of the month I could see into the hearts of my fellow man, and girls, let me tell you,

Then one night I looked up at the stars and I could see ancient civilizations rise and fall. I could look to the heavens and see God.

Shortly after, I realized all of my past and future lives, seeing clearly every life lived as a trans woman. For fun I began channeling a venerated priestess of Inanna who’d lived in ancient Mesopotamia, but it soon went too far. I accidentally awoke her through the long stretch of space-time that was meant to separate us.

The t-girls were clearly boofing some rad shit in Mesopotamia because I swiftly lost control of my body and my mind to Enheduanna. I opened a portal to her and she just stepped right through it. For the last 3 months I have been trapped here in the back of my mind waiting for someone to realize that the prophetess who walks in my body is not me. Meanwhile, Enheduanna gets stronger. She knows what the prog does and she has successfully contacted my doctor to get not only a refill but also a dosage increase. I'm terrified that this isn't the first time she's done this. DO NOT CONFRONT HER DIRECTLY. She's too strong. There's biotin pills in my medicine cabinet that look almost identical to the progesterone. I need you to swap them out next time she's having a prog fueled orgy with her new cult followers. For the love of god please I just want my life back, I promise I'll be okay with A cups again, I promise.

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Thanks for reading. In case you were wondering, progesterone is actually significantly more bioavailable when administered rectally. My friends and I all started having "crazy" dreams when we switched. Here is an article on the phenomena.

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